Times when you want a parenting partner

Most of the time in my life, I am happy and competent as a single mother.  Then, things happen and you really want another adult to support you.  I have wonderful friends and family but there is no one else who is primarily responsible for my children like I am.

Why this has come up again for me is that I have to deal with an oral surgeon who, two years ago, pulled four extra teeth from my daughter when she went in to get her wisdom teeth removed.

I needed to wait until she was finished her braces treatment before starting to see what the outcome would be.  As things turned out, her teeth and smile look great to me.  I will know next week what an independent ‘expert’ thinks about her situation though.

I talked to a lawyer this morning who I finally found who was interested in the case.  It was surprisingly hard to find a lawyer.  At first I was going to just write a letter on my own to the surgeon but then I thought that I really should get some professional help.  This lawyer gave me the impression that he will not take the case unless he thinks that we will win and get ‘enough’ money to make it worth his time.  I have no idea what that figure is though.

On one hand, Girl wants to never have to talk or think about the whole issue.  On the other hand, she is surfing the ‘net to get prices for a new laptop   Money isn’t an important thing in her life but she isn’t above some glee in thinking about getting some money of her own.

That money will bring out a brand new set of problems.  Boy, who had the same jaw problem but had his treatment go off without a hitch, really likes money.  He has appallingly expensive tastes and will be jealous of his sister if she gets a big settlement.  Oh well, we will deal with that as it comes up.

Jill

Technology hates me

Here I started this innocent little Blog.  How hard can it be to write something and then post it?  Well, harder than it seemed I guess.

 I can find my slightly dull post in my ‘drafts’ folder but that is it.  I can not manage to move it from there to being ‘posted and public’.  I managed to post my first post with no problem.  I don’t know if I should keep trying or admit defeat and pack the whole Blog experiment in.

Well, I will try to post this one and if it works then I will continue.

Jill

Parenting the ‘challenging’ child

You know, I was having coffee with a good friend yesterday and it got me thinking.  We have know each other since before we were pregnant with our second children so it has been a long time.  She was saying how this week has been a good week with her son.  He didn’t have too many problems this week and wasn’t too big a concern. 

This is the part that got me thinking.  Her saying that she isn’t having problems with him this week is all relative.  I mean, her son has Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, Tourette’s Syndrome, ADD, and two separate neurological conditions that are both rare and poorly understood.  So, when she says it is a ‘good week’ it means something different than the parents of most teens.

I was thinking about when Boy was little.  The descriptions of him were ‘Challenging’ and ‘High Need’ – and those were the kind ones.  I had people ask me “Have you had him assessed?”, “Don’t you think he needs professional help?” and ”Is this child possessed?” – OK, that one was me when he was particularly bad.  When I announced my second pregnancy many reacted with surprise (and horror).  The unspoken sub-text was ‘I can’t believe you are going to risk having another one like the first one’.

It made me realise that you handle whatever behaviour you are given.  What would be a ‘typical day’ with my son as a child, would send many mothers around the bend.  One time another mother came with her baby and spent the day with us.  She apologised for her baby being so ‘fussy’.  I was wondering what she was talking about.  I thought her kid’s behaviour was amazing because I was used to so much worse.

Now that Boy is older, things are mainly getting better *but* there are still many situations where I hold my breath to see if he will freak out or not.  It sadly reminds me of life with his father who was bi-polar.

One thing about parenting Boy is that it did force me to become a better parent and I hope a better person.

adventures with wildlife

I can not believe that I am dealing with rodents.  It was bad enough two years ago when we had mice at our trailer.  I mean, it is in the middle of a forest so you expect a critter or two.  I just wasn’t expecting it in my teapot!  That was disgusting and a waste of my perfectly good blue teapot.  I could not face it after that.

Anyway, we live in an apartment and there are six units on the top floor (only 2 stories).  We have rats overhead, partying between the ceiling and the flat roof.  Can you say YUCK!

The other day one managed to slip down our vent.  I woke up to find that the stupid rat had committed suicide in my toilet.  Not the way I wanted to start my day.  So far it has been the only one to break the barrier and get inside.

 The strata counsel has hired a company who have set traps all around the outside and on the roof.  Fat lot of good it does to the ones who are already inside the building.  It is all so frustrating and humiliating.  I don’t even want to have anyone over in case you can hear noises.  This is not how I imagined my life to be – living in community with rats.

Jill