You know, I never did like the whole concept of April Fool’s Day. I personally don’t enjoy the pranks that many people pull. They seem to be juvenile and stupid. Anyway, since 2003 I have had a much more personal reason to hate April 1st. This is the day that my ex-husband died suddenly of a heart attack.
There are so many emotions tied up in the loss of someone I had known all my adult life, we met when I was 18 years old. We were married for 17 years and had two wonderful children together. While he was remarried at the time of his death, he still was my co-parent and friend (when he wasn’t pissing me off by being a prick).
It is strange that our lives have actually been better since his death. My name was still listed as the beneficiary of the Life Insurance policy. That money has enabled me to continue working part-time, for us to get a kitchen renovation (another post for later), give both kids braces, take a trip to Europe and not to worry about paying for the kids’ education. Not a bad deal for a single mother.
We no longer have to deal with the unpredictable mood swings of a man who was bi-polar. He was self-medicating and had other health issues. He wasn’t a great father but he did try most of the time – in his own way.
Because I am single, I have a lot more freedom to parent in a way that I want to. I think that this has helped my kids to follow their own paths and make their own choices without having to try to please their father. Heck, it has even freed me up to make different choices without having to justify myself to him. I have grown a lot since he left me seven years ago.
So ends my very first Blog Post.
Jill
